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Archive for February, 2009

my support system

When you are learning how to be a coach, maybe even one day a great one, you are told to ask your client for their support system.

In this case, a support system are people- who can you count on to be there for you, beside your life coach (who obviously is present one or two hours per week, maybe also by mail- depends on the coaching structure you establish with him or her), that will hold your hand if you feel sad? Who will be there to help with the kids when you feel overwhelmed? Who’s going to stop you from eating that chocolate when you are on a diet? WHO IS YOUR FRIEND?

Then, if the answer is “I have no support system”, we will work on finding you one, you will find yourself one. We, life coaches don’t like to admit it, we don’t like to see it this way, but we are quite often called “friends for money” and I will not lie to anybody. Yes, there is something in how people who have never heard of coaching see it. The difference is that a good coach will encourage you to meet your friends, go out with them, ask them for help if you need but somehow never did it. And he will also motivate you to look for new friends. Sometimes it’s just a simple question: “look around you and tell me who would you like to invite to take a coffee with you?”, sometimes it won’t be that easy.

I just found out who is the basic of my support system. Of course, there are friends, family, but these months I have moved from one country to another, so it’s not easy to have friends (other than in a virtual way). I have been away from someone for almost 10 days. 10 days is nothing, 10 days is a quite short time, isn’t it? But I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t concentrate, I hadn’t enough creativity to update my blog. My support system is with me since yesterday again. He doesn’t do anything in particular, he just is. And first time this morning I wrote this post, then I have lots of ideas to work on and I want to come back to the books I was reading.

Maybe I am unable to be as independent as I would like, but a really wise friend of mine, when I told her that I need to change answered “it’s like this now, you can do nothing about it, just do your job, live your life, be a great coach and one day you will feel that you can be independent. And if this day never comes, you know what? It’s ok too! Don’t be sorry for who you are.” I think she’s right. It’s better to use my energy to do all the things that need to be done and all the things I’d love to do instead of wondering why I can’t be different, why I can’t be like someone else. When I’ll get there, I will work on it, but for the moment I will just be myself and try to enjoy it!

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