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Posts Tagged ‘celebrate’

I know I didn’t write for a while, I had my reasons. But I read recently this book, “the curious incident of the dog in the night-time” by Mark Haddon and I wanted to quote a part of it- because it’s beautiful, simple and so logic. The narrator is an autistic 15 years old boy.

“In the bus on the way to school next morning we passed 4 red cars in a row, which meant that it was a Good Day, so I decided not to be sad about Wellington.

Mr. Jeavons, the psychologist at the school, once asked me why 4 red cars in a row made it a Good Day, and 3 red cars in a row made it a Quite Good Day, and 5 red cars in a row made it a Super Good Day, and why 4 yellow cars in a row made it a Black Day, which is a day when I don’t speak to anyone and sit on my own reading books and don’t eat my lunch and Take No Risks. He said that I was clearly a very logical person, so he was surprised that I should think like this because it wasn’t very logical.

I said I liked things being in a nice order. And one way of things being in a nice order was to be logical. Especially if those things were numbers or an argument. But there were other ways of putting things in a nice order. And that was why I had Good Days and Black Days. And I said that people who worked in an office came out of their house in the morning and saw that the sun was shining and it made them feel happy, or they saw that it was raining and it made them feel sad, but the only difference was the weather and if they worked in an office the weather didn’t have anything to do with whether they had a good day or a bad day.

I said that when Father got up in the morning he always put his trousers on before he put his socks on and it wasn’t logical but he always did it that way, because he liked things in a nice order, too. Also whenever he went upstairs he went up two at a time, always starting with his right foot. (…)”

I think most of us have some kind of “thing” or “ritual” that makes us think “well, this is going to be a very good day!” or just the contrary. And why not? Today I had one of these things happening (nice dream, then positive phone call) and maybe it will be obvious to all of you, but I just thought “maybe I have a Good Day and something special will happen to me”. This is just the proof of how apparently meaningless events can be meaningful to someone. We are to decide whether something has an importance to us or not. Then, this is up to us to try to make each day a Good Day and keep a positive attitude, even though I know that it can be extremely tough sometimes. So I will see how my Good Day continues 🙂 And I wish lots of Good Days to all of you!

My nephew, this was definietely a Good Day with a great smile!

My nephew, this was definitely a Good Day with a great smile!

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Who is a visionary person? It could be “someone guided more by ideals than by practical considerations”; or “a person with unusual powers of foresight”; or “a person given to fanciful speculations and enthusiasms with little regard for what is actually possible”, according to the Thesaurus dictionary.Little would be achieved in this world if it wasn’t for people who believe in their dreams, who have an extraordinary ambition and great capacities that lead them to incredible discoveries.

While we do all have a great potential for achievements- the long-term ones that would change our lives and other people’s- we can also use the technique of “vision” to help us with more immediate goals. Coaches sometimes suggest a simple thing to do, and even if it might seem childish to some of you, it is also extremely useful. A notebook with dreams and goals. Or a collage that you prepare yourself, made of pictures that represent what you want to have and then put on the wall so you can see it and remind yourself of what is important or why you are working so hard. It can have the form that is more convenient to you.

What kind of things do people put in their dream notebook? A house, something they associate with health, the photo of the country you want to travel to, the picture of the women whose body you admire and looking at this image will help you to stick with your diet. It can be literally everything!

A similar technique can be used to “anchor” your dreams. Close your eyes and think of something important that you want to achieve. Now, make it precise. Let’s say that you imagine your dream travel to Paris. Imagine the city. Is it day or night time? Where are you? What do you see? What can you smell? Isn’t the weather just perfect? Take a walk. Go to the hotel where you’re staying. Is it a big hotel or a small one? How is your room? Are you alone? Where do you go for lunch? etc. Just get the perfect picture and as if you were a photographer get the images from this travel, make photos, anchor your dream and goal. Since now, every time you will have doubts concerning this travel, every time it will be hard to save some money for this dream, go back to your mental pictures. Remember that you have the freedom to change them, adapt them to new circumstances, but try not forget them- after all, it’s your dream. Go and get it.

picture your dream

picture your dream

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Take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, no one will do it for you. Or maybe someone will try, will do some things, but eventually he will get tired and it will get pretty obvious that the person who should be taking care of you is you.

More than a week ago I discovered (yes, I did discover it only now) that I have never taken care of myself just for me. I have almost always been doing everything to please others. And even if it seemed like I am pleasing myself, I wasn’t. An example? Buying some clothes, so I can be sexy and beautiful. You could think that this is one of the obvious pleasures we do for ourselves. In my case it’s never been like this. I want others to appreciate me, I want others to love me, and I want others to think good things about me. Even when I write, which is one of my hobbies, I do think about getting the appreciation of other people, not of my own pleasure of writing something valuable. When I post stuff on my blog, I wonder if someone will like it, if I will get any comments. When I do other activities, I think about getting clients for my practice so I can earn my life and my family and friends stop to think about me as a kind of looser.

Of course I know that it’s not reasonable, but it has never so clearly occurred to me that from time to time, without exaggeration, I should be doing something just for myself. It can be small things, like having a manicure or buying a pair of beautiful shoes (you know what I think when I buy new shoes? Is he going to like them? Is this colour the one he likes on me? And what’s worse, it’s not even his fault and I have never been given any kind of instructions concerning my shopping). You can do something different, like going to movies by yourself or spending a weekend in a spa, go to the beach in the morning and meditate. Whatever it is that you are silently dreaming about.

Maybe it will be not fair to say that men do take care of themselves better while women more often neglect their own needs and desires. The other thing I discovered recently is that concentrate on loving others INSTEAD of loving others AS WELL AS loving yourself, does not mean that they will love you back or that they will appreciate the “sacrifice” or that they will not hurt you. My conclusion: I have nothing “mine” (at least 1h per week with my favourite TV show!) and people would still do what they will decide to do- go away, never appreciate me, stop loving me, or just take care of themselves without caring much about me.

It seems that loving ourselves is so hard for many people. This is often the reason of eating disorders, addictions, or other things that people do because they hate who they are. Why do they hate themselves in the first place? I would ask them this question if I were their coach. Maybe they don’t hate, but just think that they are less important than other people. Or worthless. “Why?” I would ask again.

So why not start with some small steps, why not make yourself a pleasure, spend an evening on caring about your mind and body or doing whatever you’d love? Yes, for some people it is extremely hard and I understand. But let’s try to celebrate ourselves.

me loving me during bushwalking

me loving me during bushwalking

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