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Posts Tagged ‘unhappiness’

We don’t really think about it until the day we are in such despair that hopelessness is the only word to describe our state of mind. Usually we have hope, more or less of it, depending on what we are thinking about, but we have it. If we are also motivated to achieve the results we are looking for, it is likely that we will succeed in our actions.

But we don’t think about hope on a daily basis. It is just present somewhere in our mind. We don’t even notice it. If I applied for a new job and I am now waiting for an answer, very nervous, it obviously means that I hope that I will be positively judged by the interviewer. If I was totally hopelessness, I wouldn’t be stressed, I wouldn’t think about that job in that way. I wouldn’t check my email, or look at my phone more often than usually. I wouldn’t imagine myself in the new office, having new responsibilities and enjoying it. I wouldn’t let my mind wonder how my life would look like if it wasn’t for hoping that I will actually succeed.

Hope is one of the factors that motivates us, whether we think about it or not. Even though this is only one of many factors, it’s the crucial one, the one without which nothing is possible. When we stop hoping for a better life, when we just don’t believe anymore we can get a job, when we start to think that life is not worth any effort, we are driven into a very dangerous state. Because nothing makes sense anymore. It’s not that we don’t move forward and the present moment is “ok”. It’s that we can’t even stand the present moment.

A person that became truly hopelessness needs help and I believe that he or she won’t do it on its own, because that person doesn’t see the point of doing anything. If nothing makes sense, there is no action that can change that state. Fortunately, most of us have a support system, people who love us, people who, if aware of what’s happening to us, are willing to help. It’s a very difficult situation to help a hopeless person and this is why it might be too hard only for one person to do it. Get the family or friends together, explain them how they need to be more present for the one they love, how they all together can make a huge difference in his life. Maybe also look for a specialist who will know how to talk to the person, help in a different way. You just need to create a support system.

When we recuperate some hope, we are able to undertake some steps to achieve whatever we want. We are able to think about the future. Imagine a better tomorrow. Get out of bed. Smile.

Hope is so important, you really wouldn’t like to see what life looks like without it. I’m trying optimist today, so let’s hope for a better future!

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There has been a big misunderstanding, judging to your reactions, due to my last post. As I found out, many of you assumed that since I am a life coach, since I have a nice smile on my photo and I write about happiness, fulfillment and other things of this kind, I am myself a happy and fulfilled person- at work and in life.

Well, the shoemaker’s children are ill-shod, meaning I want to give happiness to people, allow them to reach their dreams, feel satisfaction in life, etc. but I have little of all these things. In fact, I am not happy at all at the present moment (exception: precious moments in my personal life when my husband’s smile makes me smile and feel better than ever).

I am seeking happiness just as other people do. I am well aware that this kind of sincerity can discredit me as a coach. Just check other coaches’ websites- they all seem so happy, fulfilled in life, radiant smiles on their faces (maybe this is really how they feel?), they seem to have everything we are looking for (I’d better talk only for myself- what I am looking for), to have the secret key to this door to Happiness that remains for me more or less closed.

Next question: “how can you tell people that they can be happy and achieve their dreams if you’re not happy and you didn’t achieve your dreams (yet)?”. The answer is quite simple, if I’m still out there, willing to help people, willing to learn more about helping them, reading about it, interested in the positive psychology, etc. it’s because I still believe in coaching and it’s power to give us back our power and strength to change.

I also think that if one can’t have an understanding of sadness, difficulties, of what struggling with life is, this person can’t be a good coach (it’s the moment- just crucify me…). And even though I’m far away from perfection, I find it much easier to help others, be effective in this process, than to actually make myself happy (this might be why coaching works- because it comes from others and not just us, we are not on our own anymore, which makes the process of change much easier).

So here I am, smiling on my photo, grasping every piece of joy I can find (and I do find it sometimes), seeking my personal satisfaction and other things that hopefully will make me a happy person.

Now, if you think you wouldn’t want a coach like me- it’s ok. But if you look for sincerity, objectivity, a professional approach to the client combined with sensitivity and simply… humanity, just email me…

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